The Beginnings

 

This was my Harvey 3 year ago. My life was different. My life was complete. I had my Harvey by my side and it was he and I against the world. We supported each other. We loved each other. We would do anything for each other. But I knew in the back of my mind, that we were in his last trip around the sun. That soon I would be alone in this world and that I wouldn't have his smiling face looking up at me. I wouldn’t have him watching over me anymore. As much as I tried to prepare my self for the inevitability of life, I was not ready. I tried to tell my self the “we had a good run” or “I gave him a great, great life” lines but none of that mattered. All that mattered was him.

Now I feel empty without him by my side. Life feels pointless and empty. For 4111 days he was my constant companion. Mt Best friend. My brother. He got me through the death of my father, 2 messy break-ups, COVID and my stroke. I got him through a blown ACL, 2 surgeries, a bone infection and a couple of dog attacks. One thing I couldn’t get him through was time. I couldn’t hold off the passing of time that would lead to him leaving.

We had each other’s back through everything. It was always Scott and Harvey - as if we were one entity. We played and cuddled and swam and watched the world through 2 sets of eyes. He was a dog that came with a lot of problems and I promised to get him through all of them. I promised to give him the life he deserved. The life he would have wanted and I hope I succeeded.

I don’t want to get over Harvey’s passing. I don’t want to forget how his passing made me feel – that’s how important he is to me.  I had a brother who died before I was born and I always felt as though Harvey was the embodiment of James – the brother I never knew. I cherished Harvey and I know I would have cherished James as well. I will see them both again one day, but in the meantime, I hope Harvey is telling James all about me. Telling him how much I loved him and how special he was to me and one day I will get to hug them both again, and for the first time.