James Michael Quibell

 My family was the typical family for the era - mother, father, sister and brother. 2 parents and 2 kids. I was born 2 1/2 months premature - a super-preemie. I wasn't expected to live. I was 1 1/2 pounds at time of birth and had purple hands and feet. My dad used to say I fit in the palm of his hand with my head on the heeel of his hand and my feet reaching the ends of his fingers. My parents were warned that i would most-likely not survive days. But I did. I grew and grew. 

There was mention of my mom having a son before me that didn't survive. It wasn't spoken of. I never heard either of my parents mention it again after I was 5 or 6. A few months ago I mentioned it to my sister and she vauguely remmebered something about it. So my sister dug into it and found record of a boy being born on August 15th 1959 - 18 months after my sister. He was named James Michael Quibell. He only lived 2 days. 

My sister found a photo of my mother and her, and in the photo my mother is pregnant. The photo is dated 1959 so she was pregnant with James. I had never seen the photo before and it really struck a chord with me. A phot of my mother who died 30 years ago pregnant with my big brother. The thing that really struck me was the fact that if he had lived, I would not have been born. My parents only wanted two children. 

I am still learning how to work through the emotions surrounding the thought of this all.