February

 Today is February 16th. Two days after Valentine's Day and Two days until Harvey's 12th birthday. I always made a big deal of special occassions with Harvey. I think I got this from my mom, who never missed mailing me a card for every occasion. St. Patrick's Day, Valentine's Day, Easter - she never missed one. And I always looked forward to getting those as I know they came from a place of love. A place of connectiveness and honesty. 

With Harvey I always celebrated weekends for puppies and daddies. Kind of strange I know, but weekends were for him. We took advantage of every moment of a weekend. From Friday afternoon until bedtime on Sunday - I was all his. Even if the weekend amounted to nothing more than going for walks or hanging out on the deck - we were together. 

On Harvey's birthday last year I rallied some friends to get together and celebrate with us at Red Collar Brewing. It was the birthday Harvey wasn't supposed to have. When I first got Harvey, the vet made it very clear to me that 10 is all I could hope for with him. Giant brred dogs come with a plethora of issues that shorten their lives. But, in February 2024 Harvey was still very healthy. Despite his knee surgery and subsequent complications, he had recovered and was living his best life. 

My neighbor and her boyfriend came, along with her friends and their dog Odin - a Aussie Sheperd. Bevin came with Rio although she was worried about Rio. His hip displasia had worsened and his mobility was lessening. But they came and Rio and Odin became great friends. Despite Rio's mobility issues he tried to play with Odin a bit - the spirit that made Rio Rio was still there. Harvey - always Rio's bodygaurd - kept a close eye on things. It made me happy to see the outpouring of love for Harvey - it was everything he deserved. 

But, here I am now - 5 weeks after Harvey's passing, trying to figure out how to handle to wave of emotions I am feeling. It has snowed again this morning, just like it did before his birthday last year. All of these small things make the memories of last year feel clower to the surface. More raw. I am unsure about how I will handle the next few days. How many more emothions and memories will rise to the surface and how they will affect me. I know in my heart that Harvey doesn't want to see me sad and mourning him. But celebrating his life. The life that was so close to not happening. I will celebrate my boy. I am not done telling his story and speaking with love about him. And I know, one day we will see each other again. One life isn't enough for Harvey and I and the love we shared.